Day 109 (feelings)

'Twas a day chock full o' feelings.

The day started out innocently enough, with a detached and reasonably efficient morning-long job-search. That was followed by the intense frustration and impatience of a driving lesson wherein we had a different instructor, who has a different driving style than our regular instructor. I calmed down with a nice loving nursing session, then had a great time commiserating with John and Shani. The venting-session ended with the happy anticipation of making plans to eat a fun dinner together.

Then there was the joy of picking up BSM from daycare, and the boppy happiness of our daily post-daycare meandering. During the course of said meander, a kibbutznik asked me how we like the kibbutz. Rather than give my usual half-smile and, "We're figuring it out," or "Slowly, slowly," I called it like it is. I shrugged and said, "It's hard. It's very hard to live with a group of people and not be part of the group." The feeling of release and freedom was immediate and long-lasting. I've discussed that feeling of marginalization with The Husbinator and our neighbors, among others, but telling an actual member of the kibbutz has done wonders. It doesn't change anything, but boy, do I feel better!

That high was followed by Skyping with Ema and Abba, an activity filled with the joy of seeing them and the sadness that we're so far away. The Skyping rolled right into a spontaneous playdate with Nosie-Boy, and he and BSM continue to dazzle all with their cuteness in their ability to actually play together.

Then, Aunt Ruby gave me a surprise phone call, saying she was on the kibbutz for parent-teacher conferences, and we just hung out for something like an hour-and-a-half, which was a real treat. I know that must've been crazy for her on a weeknight, but I really needed that borchering session.

Then there was the relaxed bittersweet fun of a goodbye dinner with John, Shoshie, and Nosie-Boy (BSM, G-d bless him, was already asleep) followed by the mindless fun of watching some TV with The Husbinator, followed by the one-of-a-kind adrenaline rush of grabbing El Babo after hearing him gulp some air while crying, telling him, "There, there, sweetie, we're not going to leave you in your crib to--" and then being suddenly and spectacularly covered in vomit. Shoulder-to-toe covered.

Like I said, a day chock full o' feelings.