Day 279 (I just don't know)

When I read about this morning's terror attack in a Jerusalem shul, I felt a lot of things. Let's skip to the middle, where I really don't want to leave. I've been suppressing the dichotomy for a while now: I want to see my family in America, and I don't want to leave Israel. This morning I could no longer ignore it. I am sad, and hurt, and angry, and I don't want to leave. I will leave, though. Because I do want to see my family, and to miss out on that makes no sense at all. But I don't want to leave Israel. Not even for two weeks. Not now.