Learning Something New

A while ago, Husbinator picked up a (free second-hand) halacha book he thought the kids would like, and the kids liked it so well that we ended up buying the entire set. The series is called פניני הלכה לילדים: it's a kids' version of פניני הלכה, a halachic series written for adults. (Here's a link to the English version for adults, available as physical copies for purchase or free online.) I like the books because they lay out halacha clearly and logically, with a clear explanation, and the kids say they like the amusing illustrations.

Both BSM and FF read the books for pleasure: BSM reads them himself, and FF with Husbinator. Or so I thought. I mean, I know that BSM has read the books more than once, and I know that FF has been consistently asking Husbinator to read him a few pages before bed, and they're on their second volume. HOWEVER. It turns out that FF has gone rogue.

You see, in the summer, Shabbos finishes so late that we often have one or more of the kids go to sleep while it's still light out, and to appease the child/ren, we let him make his own havdalah on Sunday morning. Well, two weeks ago, FF informed me that the free ride is over. 

This time around, when I told FF it was bedtime, he complained. Naturally, his defense of choice was it not being fair that he'd miss havdalah. Full of confidence and years of experience, I calmly told FF that he'd make his own havdalah tomorrow morning, now go upstairs.

But FF threw me: he did not yell, he did not insist that he wasn't tired, he didn't even complain that he didn't want to be the first kid to go to sleep. Instead, he countered with making havdalah on Sunday is lame because... if you make havdalah on Sunday, you only use wine or grape juice, with no candle or spices. 

Um?

Well, that certainly worked as a stalling tactic, as I stopped telling the boy to go to bed, and instead asked him to show me the source for that one. Because he didn't sound whiny, he sounded educated. And I have never heard of that one.

So FF did, in fact, go upstairs immediately, though he just as quickly came back down with this:

And I flipped through the book with FF until we got to this page:

Here, let me zoom in there for you.

Exactly as FF stated: sure, you can make havdalah after Saturday night, but if you make havdalah on Sunday through Tuesday, havdalah is a prayer over wine or grape juice only, with no fire-playing or spice-smelling. Well, I know better than to argue with a book that I trust, so I put FF to bed on my authority as a parent only, without trying to convince him that havdalah would be fine. 

But still, after I put FF to bed, I pulled a copy mishna berurah. Yup, really straightforward.

And here are the Shulchan Aruch and Rema in readable text format:

שכח ולא הבדיל במוצאי שבת מבדיל עד סוף יום ג' וי"א שאינו מבדיל אלא כל יום ראשון ולא יותר ודוקא בפה"ג ומבדיל בין קודש לחול אבל על נר ובשמים אינו מברך אלא במוצאי שבת ויש מי שאומר דהא דקי"ל טעם מבדיל ה"מ היכא דהבדיל בליל מו"ש אבל אם לא הבדיל בלילה כיון שטעם שוב אינו מבדיל: הגה והעיקר כסברא הראשונה ומי שמתענה ג' ימים וג' לילות ישמע הבדלה מאחרים ואם אין אחרים אצלו יכול להבדיל בשבת מבעוד יום ולשתות ולקבל אח"כ התענית עליו. [ת"ה סי' קנ"ט] עיין סי' תקנ"ג:

With a bit of Mishna Berurah:

(יח) אבל על הנר וכו' - דברכת על האור משום דבמו"ש הוא זמן בריאתו ועל הבשמים נמי משום כדי להשיב נפש הכואבת ביציאת נשמה יתירה וכ"ז לא שייך ממו"ש ואילך [עו"ש]:

So FF taught me something.